Shadows passing down the hallway

Haunting whispers calling my name

Write your name out in stars

Try to forget who you are

Clean myself with my values

Blind myself with your lies

Trying to get close, knowing it's no use

You're just a fool in disguise

Chorus:

Wish I was the one to hold you

Wish I didn't have to crawl

Wish that I could see through your eyes

There's nothing there at all

Fading flowers into greyness

Crumble the remains to dust

Fumbling to locate the clues

Realise I can only lose

Wash myself with your scars

Bind myself with your rules

Trying to get close, knowing it's no use

You're just being too cruel

Chorus

The strength inside has disappeared

It vanished after all these years

I'd hoped my mind would stay intact

Before you launched your attack

These are my own little bruises

No one else can make them

No one else can touch them

No one else can see them

Chorus

You didn't hurt me 'cause I hurt myself

I don't feel the pain anymore

You didn't hurt me 'cause I hurt myself

My skin is so blue, the feeling is so pure

Fairy wings turned to fairy dust

A double cross leads to shattered trust

My soul is bleeding but I'll heal soon

Anything's better than to be with you

These are my own little scars

No one else can make them

No one else can touch them

No one else can feel them

You didn't hurt me 'cause I hurt myself

I don't feel the pain any more

You didn't hurt me 'cause I hurt myself

The blood is so red, the feeling is so pure

Dig in the nails, scratching me red raw

So she's got blonde hair, such deep blue eyes

She's so charming, will never criticise

Can't hold a conversation to save her life

Only thing she wants to be is a mother and a wife

Oh, she's so dull

And she's got no soul

I can't see what you see in her

Let's jump on her

Let's pull her hair

And throw the pieces away

Let's make her bleed

Let's make her see

The dangerous games we play

So she bakes cakes, keeps her room clean

Always generous, probably a virgin

Got no sense of humour, little girl naiive

There's nothing that you can't get her to believe

She's boring

Doesn't know anything

I can't see what you see in her

Let's burn her skin

Let's make her cringe

As we watch her urinating

Let's kick her down

Let's push her 'round

Cut her up and strip her naked

(key change)

Let's knife her dead

Let's crush her head

Let's make her writhe in pain

Let's stab her eyes

Let's tell her lies

We can drive her insane

Let's knife her dead

The girl with blonde hair

Let's knife her dead

The girl with blonde hair

Let's knife her dead

The girl with blonde hair

Let's knife her, knife her, dead

Fell apart the day you left

Dissolved into a lack of feeling

Cold and close to death

Still insane, you stopped the healing

You promised that you'd wrap the pain

Tie it up so it wouldn't escape

Didn't know how to change

Trusting you was my biggest mistake

Chorus

I've had enough

I've slipped, I lost my grip, I'm falling

It's all too much

I don't care, I gave up, you caused this

Touched you for the last time

I won't turn back, I have some pride

Should've known your kind

So many promises, so many lies

I gave you everything you wanted

Took it, spat it right out back at me

I cower, I run, I scream, I'm haunted

Stretched out my hand, you pretended not to see

Chorus

We were two of a kind

Soulless beauty wandering solitary

I slid into your mind

Implanted myself, I plead guilty

In our world we were Kings and Queens

Didn't want to understand the meaning

Broken by the worst betrayal

Discovered then the sting in your tail

Chorus

Threw away the last of my pride

I'm empty now, there's nothing inside

Hoping God will see me through

It's all because of you

I carried my crucifix home

Would've sacrificed myself for you

True loneliness unknown

The product of your harsh ordeals

Reflections of our sorrows blind me

Promise fell apart so easily

Trail of lies, a bloodstained path

Web of deceit you tried to mask

Chorus

I think I'm strong but it's only an illusion

I belong but it's really forced exclusion

My heart is hard

So brittle, soon it will break

This great charade

Where did I make the mistake?

No, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

I looked in the mirror today

I looked in the mirror today

I looked in the mirror today

I looked in the mirror today

I'm solitary but my soul remains empty

Hostility - these claws are out to get me

And dreams just hurt

Only more unreality

Their lies and dirt

Contaminate my sanity

No, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

I looked in the mirror and I hated myself

I looked in the mirror and cried

I looked in the mirror and I killed myself

I looked in the mirror and died

I killed myself and cried

Weave the needle around my skin

Always was the place to begin

So smooth and strong and fucking good

Does more to me than you could

You're soothing

You calm me

You loved me

Where are you now?

I want the real encounter

I want your wetness next to mine

I want your flesh and blood and tears

You are not here

Chorus (tinny voice effect)

I don't know what is happening

I would rather be sleeping

I don't know how to deal with this

I would rather be lifeless

Creepy crawly across my arm

Seeps its poison onto my palm

I am the one you never understood

Does more to me than you could

You changed me

You milked me

You drained me

Where are you now?

I want what I saw

I want to stop feeling so sore

I want your lip and cock and hands

Why don't you understand?

Chorus

(whispered)

This veil you created wears so thin

I break away, am drawn back in

My vice haunts me, my hands are tied

I see you now, you cannot hide

Fracture and screams, you caused them all

I close my eyes, start to fall

We play our power games

But still it's always the same

I can't imagine having control over you

You're stronger in every way

But I think you know that too

I can only kneel at your feet

Fall over, lesser retreat

Stain your carpet with blood and tears

Have no choice but to show my fears

Bridge

Still I can't care about you

I don't give a fuck these days

Don't know how to care about you

It doesn't matter anyway

Chorus (Drummy)

Pin me down and strip me apart

What's inside? I have no heart

Light the candle, I'll do as I'm told

The wax will melt, inside I'm cold

Want to hang from your tower on top of a hill

But you've moved in for the kill...

You knock me out and peel the skin

Push me till my mind is sinking

Somehow you're always the top

I would do anything

I don't want it to ever stop

Stroke me, it eases the agony

Too much now, you can have me

I can hope to rise above

Pretend there's a thing called love

Bridge

Chorus

Don't hold on

I know it's far to late to change

Can't fit in

I don't know how to act around you

Bridge

You understand

I didn't want to be a woman

You are a man

Had everything I wanted

Chorus

I don't know how to play their games

I don't know how to talk their talk

I don't know how to dream their dreams

I don't want to take that bulk

Red blood stains

Runs down, July to June I don't like it

I'm not strong

Don't want to have your baby

Bridge

Chorus

This way, Today

I just want to be without it

Just leave me alone (shut it away)

'Cause I don't know why they do it

Chorus

Unscrew the bottle

Push the tablet through the foil

Wash it down now fade away

More and more; it kills the pain

Mistaken gender, please surrender

Tell me I am not alone

I only feel like a pretender

All the lies which I have told

I don't want an ovary

I don't want it inside me

Chorus

I can take it out, I can take it from inside of me

I can take it out, I can take it from inside of me

I can take it out, I can take it from inside of me

I can take it out, I can take it from inside of me

Unscrew the bottle (Heal it, please disappear)

Push the tablet through the foil (Heal it, please disappear)

Wash it down, now fade away

More and more, it kills the pain

I don't to numb the feeling

I want it to go away

I swallowed but it's not enough

'Cause here I am like yesterday

Chorus

I want a dick, I want to rape

I want to feel like you do

I want to push her to the ground

Be on your side of abuse

Chorus

I call it self-infliction

It's like a strange flavoured addiction

You can turn your back on me

You can play blind, close your eyes

It's not you trying to break free

You don't have to make this choice

Chorus

I'm going to get you on your knees

I'm going to make you crawl the streets

I'll have you kneeling at my feet

I'll get every one of you suckers

I call it self-mutilation

This method of dealing with frustration

You can keep changing the rules

Just stand there, I know you don't care

You can drain me, take it all

Don't come back for more, there'll be none left

Chorus

I'll line you up one by one

Raise my arm and aim my gun

You'll regret everything you've said and done

You'll shit yourselves you little cunts

Chorus

You could've been the one

You could've been the one I needed

You could've helped me dig myself out of this hole

You might have even saved my soul

Well you're the one who chose to leave

So I can blame you for the way I feel now

I drowned myself so you'd rescue me

You let me choke on these fluids

I'm lying here and it's because of you

I'm dying here and it's all your fault

So what if I have no self control

What the hell would you know?

You've turned me inside out

You've chewed me to pieces and spat out

You've denied the only exit available

You have been needlessly cruel

So you do what was right for you

Don't worry about this unintentional abuse

I cut myself so you'd notice me

You just sat watching me bleed

I'm crying here and it's because of you

I'm dying here and it's all your fault

So what if I have nothing to show

What the hell would you know?

So I can only help myself

No one's coming to my rescue

Everybody will let me down

Reduce me to blood and tissue

There's only one way to escape this hurt

Prove them wrong and stop making the effort

I'm digging up the dirt, I have no will to survive

I won't avoid danger just to stay alive

You made me this way so what can you say?

You don't care if I live or die.

When you're alone and your world is crashing in

When you're feeling lower than you've ever been

And your cries are of despair

And you think that no one cares

I'll remember...

Your unnecessary deeds

The effect that they had on me

Chorus 1

I will be there

Laughing in your face

I'll be there

At your fall from grace

Your time will come my prey

I'm waiting for the day

When you're humiliated and deserted

And your so-called friends aren't there to turn to

And you're hurting in your heart

And confusion hits you hard

I'll remember...

What you gave to me

A pyre of emotional debris

Chorus 2

I will be there

Kicking you when you're down

I'll be there

Dancing on your dark cloud

Your time will come I pray

I'm waiting for the day

Oh, I know I sound bitter

But I've never been a quitter

The score's not even yet

Why should I forgive and forget?

Chorus 1

For a while I thought I'd found my escape

But this path was twisting and turning too fast

The strangers never looked beyond my face

I learnt that happiness wasn't to last

Surrounded by my sins again

Always return right back to the start

Misunderstood the rules of the game

Little by little it's falling apart

Chorus 1

Can't shoot 'em all, can't make 'em friends

I can never get them on my side

Can't make believe can't make amends

I can never win till I've died

I was crawling and clawing and trawling around

Thought my life had changed for the better finally

Hunting and sneaking down close to the ground

Hope replaced with cold reality

High inside my dream-cloud

I'm starting to drift downwards now

Forgot that joy in my life's not allowed

Punishment's worse for breaking this vow

Chorus 2

Can't shoot 'em all, can't make 'em friends

I can never turn back the tide

Can't make believe, can't make amends

I can never win though I've tried